Posting by Steve Kaech, Stepfamily Small Group Connection

Aren’t back doors in our homes wonderful! I remember as a kid growing up how much I loved walking through our back door into the yard. When my parents first bought our home there was no landscaping - only dirt. The neighborhood kids and I built a dirt race track so we could race BMX bikes. Later I dug a pit back there and covered it to make an underground fort. My dad and I planted a large vegetable garden in one corner that had corn, carrots, tomatoes and other veggies. In my teen years my dad built me a basketball court where I would spend countless hours practicing. I loved my backyard! It was a place of escape, a comfortable place, a place where a world of opportunities awaited me just through my back door! Our back door also provided me a sense of security. I knew that if an intruder came in to our house I could escape through our back door.

My wife and I now live in a condo. We don’t have a backyard only “common area”, and our back door is nothing more than a sliding glass door off of a secondary bedroom. There’s nothing of importance out there. No reason to go there other than to let the cable guy check our cable. And as far as security goes, there are so many bolts and latches on the door we could never get through it to escape. It’s meant more to keep people out rather than to be used as a means of access. It’s virtually inaccessible!

Too often in marriages today, and especially in stepfamily marriages, we have a tendency to view the “back door” of our marriage as I did growing up. When tough times in our relationship come along, we glance at that back door and start to wonder “what lies beyond it”? We begin to think of those comfortable times when we were single; “life was so much simpler back there”. Then we begin to view that door as a way to escape whatever it is we are going through; “I wonder what opportunities await me back there?” Ultimately, if we play with these thoughts too long, we begin to see our spouse as the “intruder” and all we want to do is rush through the back door to get away.

What we need to have is a back door like I have now. Completely worthless! We need to have a perspective of “there’s no reason to go there”, and, “there’s nothing of importance back there”. Like my back door, we need to have as many bolts and latches on it as we can possibly fit so it becomes too cumbersome to even try to open it. It needs to be virtually “inaccessible”!

So my question to you is: “How accessible is your back door?”

So, let's say that someone is sick in your group, or one family has a new baby, or for some other reason your group is going to provide meals for someone for a period of time. How to organize, how to organize?

Great news, just go to Food Tidings, create a schedule, invite the members of your group, and voila! Food Tidings is a website that keeps track of who is providing food when, making the job of coordinating much easier than having one person keeping track of everyone.

Of course, there are other easy ways to do this. Like, sending out a listing of days by email and asking everyone to hit "reply all" after putting their name after one day. Or, if you really like technology, you can create a shared "Google calendar" that everyone in the group uses.

But, let's just keep it easy and say, go to Food Tidings and do it there. Besides, it's free.

August 28 is going to be a wonderful evening for small group Hosts and others in their small groups. This is our semi-annual small group Host Gathering. If you're a Host or co-Host (or a future Host!) plan to join us in the Worship Center on Friday, August 28 for an evening of inspiration and insight You'll hear about the exciting church-wide campaign coming in September. You'll get inside info from leadership of the church. You'll leave with excitement for what God has planned for this fall.

Don't miss this great evening. Put the evening of August 28 on your calendar now. More details will be coming.

Here are some local PEACE opportunities.

With May being PEACE connection month, what is your small group doing to participate in PEACE?

We'll have a list of PEACE opportunities for your group to consider in our next post.

What is Personal PEACE?
Actually its not a “what” it’s a “who” and the “who” is YOU!
Personal PEACE is simply living a lifestyle that reflects who God created you to be as one of his followers. It’s a who you ARE, not a what you DO.

Personal PEACE Mission Statement:
Showing and Sharing God’s love to those in YOUR world!
Personal PEACE is not just about sharing God’s message and what he has done in your life, it’s also about actively living out that message for the world to see.

So let’s break it down:
Showing God’s Love-
Simply put….We show God’s love to others by living a lifestyle that reflects a life filled with the Spirit. And what does that look like? Galatians 5:22 says: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control….
Our outward behavior is the response to our inward commitment. Have you ever heard this one? If you were charged with being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you? Does your life reflect the fruit of the Spirit? If so, you are half way there to living a lifestyle of Personal PEACE!

Sharing God’s Love- 1Peter 3:15 tells us: Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. We all have two stories to share; God’s story-the gospel message, and your story- your personal life message. Did you know that the amazing work that God has done in your life was not just for your benefit? It was also for the benefit of others. Every time you share your story it brings God glory. Why? Because God was the one who saved/changed/fixed/renewed you. You are a new creation because of  God’s power, love and grace, not because of anything you did, but because of what Jesus did. See you sharing your story transitions into sharing God’s story. He gets the credit for the new you!

To Those in Your World- Defining the word “world” when it comes to Personal PEACE refers to the relational encounters you have on a daily basis; familiar and unfamiliar.  Familiar meaning friends and acquaintances in places like your neighborhood, your workplace, the gym, at your child’s school, on the athletic field, etc…
Unfamiliar defined as intentionally looking for opportunities/people who you may cross paths with (maybe even only once), that you can share a little kindness, compassion, understanding….a little bit of Jesus with. So are you asking, “How can being kind and compassionate to someone I don’t know, or may never encounter again help bring them to Christ?” Before you ever came along, God had a plan in place. If you are obedient to God by living a lifestyle of Personal PEACE, you will be fortunate enough to be included in GOD’S redemptive plan. Keep in mind that coming into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ is a PROCESS not an EVENT! You are just a part in the process. Maybe you are the first, the fifth, the tenth or the one who actually gets to share in leading them across the line to accepting Christ. Only God knows. Take the burden off yourself and understand that we are meant to care and converse, not to convert. Conversion is God’s job, not yours. Be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in your conversations with people. He’ll direct your steps and conversation.

Just be yourself:

• Live a life that reflects God’s character and expresses his love for those he created.
• Be willing to share your story; keeping in mind that it’s not only for your benefit, but also for others. Your story shows God’s glory!
• Be ready to share the best story of all; how Jesus has the power to save. And always remember, you aren’t in this alone.

Your small group is the perfect place to start!!

You and your small groups can share the love of Jesus Christ and make a difference in the lives of  our Angel Tree children at camp this summer. 

Angel Tree is a ministry of Prison Fellowship.  Sponsor a child to go to camp, be a camp mentor, or help us with the administrative tasks.  Visit the Angel Tree table on the patio or contact Kim @ 949-922-1565 or kheaton@cox.net.

If you have been on Saddleback campus for any length of time, you probably noticed all the recycling drop offs and recycling trash cans around. All the proceeds from these go to purchases Bibles!! These Bibles are delivered by the Mission Teams for the P.E.A.C.E. plan throughout the world!

There is a great opportunity for you and your small group to help. See the details below:

Days: Flexible - and day of the week available
Time: Mornings of afternoons - flexible.
       Some exsisting groups times:
         ~ Thursday  - 9am
         ~ Friday - 9am
         ~ Sunday - 1pm
         ~ Saturday - 9am (every other Saturday)
Location: Gravel Pit
Duties: Sort aluminum cans and water bottles
Bring: Wear old clothes and shoes, hat, sunscreen, and water

If you or your group is interested go here.

As a mentor, you can provide caring and consistent support to a child or teen during a difficult time in his or her life. Help our community's kids find purpose and meaning. You can change a life in as little as a few hours a month!

What you can your mentee can do together:

• go to the beach
• a walk in the park
• shoot some hoops (in the Refinery!)
• share a meal
• hang out and talk

Mission: To intenally reach out to foster and at-risk youth in our church family and community, sharing God's love and bringing hope and encouragement.

From a mentored youth: "Having a mentor was a big blessing in my life as a teenager; I struggled with a lot and was tempted a lot, too. Maybe if I hadn't had a mentor in my life I wouldn't have chosen the right path."

From a mentor: "What I put into being a mentor was more than returned to me in blessings. I still feel like I was the one being mentored to and have gained a whole other family in my life as a result."

Email to learn:

• What difference a mentor can make
• What a mentor does
• What faith has to do with mentoring
• Next steps to becoming a mentor
• What support you will receive as a Saddleback mentor

For information and answers email Tami at mentoringonpurpose@cox.net.

 

You may want to share in your small group this Quote from Rick's sermon this week:

WHO JESUS CAME FOR
By Rick Warren

In my study of Gospels, I made a list of the people Jesus came for:

Jesus came for the chewed up, the crossed off, and the crying out,
The dropped out, edged out, fizzled out, and freaked out
The have nots and the held back,
The hung over and the knocked around

He came for the left out, the loaded down, and the looked over
The locked up, led astray, the laid off, and the let down
He came for the messed up and the mixed up

Jesus came for the passed over, the picked on, the put down and the pushed around

The ripped off, the run down, and the run over

He came for people who are screwed up and shrugged off
The shut in and shut out
The smashed up and the strung out

He came for the torn up, the thrown away, and the turned off
Those who are used up and walked over
The washed out, the worn out, and the wiped out.

The written off

He came for you.

And  me.

-Rick Warren

Saddleback Volunteers bring outreach to the elderly and disabled, who otherwise would not be able to hear the Good News or have the opportunity to fellowship with others. Activities include leading prayer, providing worship music and offering fellowship.  This is a great way to share Christ's love and go into deeper relationship with those who are alone and immobile

To be apart of this opportunity in Orange County, CA click here to register. The coordinator will then contact you to confirm.

May 2009 is PEACE connection month at Saddleback Church.

Throughout this month we will be highlighting ways that you and your small group can participate in Personal, Local, and Global PEACE.

If you do not attend Saddleback, or are not in Southern California, we hope that these will give you ideas on how to reach out in your own community. As we highlight, if you or your small group has participated in this ministry, please share your stories with us by commenting.

Here is a video on Global PEACE that explains what the PEACE plan in all about.

This weekend you might have heard Pastor Rick mention the “Framing Your Worldview” study in the Purpose Connection Magazine. I wanted to let you know that starting this week, our online small groups will be starting this study. We’d love to have you come and join!

For current group days and times click here.

Tina Brown
Online Small Groups

When did you last learn something new to try at your small group?

 

We’re at the 2009 Saddleback small group conference in Atlanta. I’m listening to Steve Gladen teaching about what small groups are doing at Saddleback. These pastors have traveled from 26 states to learn from what you’re doing in your small group. I’m picking up some great ideas, just like I always do.

 

So, when is the last time you learned something new about small groups? When’s the last time you went to LT1? Or read any of the great books on small groups? Or kicked around ideas with your Community Leader or another small group? Our small group likes to hang out with a couple of other small groups and we always get great ideas from them on how to make our group more fun, or interesting, or relevant.

 

When you go to LT1, you also get a free copy of 250 Big Ideas, a book that’s full of great things you can do in your group. You can use these ideas every week.

 

So, when did you learn something new to try at your small group?

What happens when your small group hits a flat spot? You know, when the study you’re doing isn’t resonating with the group; when a few people leave and suddenly it doesn’t feel like there’s much life in the group; when the group seems to have sat at a plateau level for quite awhile; when things just don’t seem like they’re clicking anymore.

 

First, count on the nature of God’s creation. God never changes, but all of His creation does. There are seasons for everything, as Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 3. God made night and day, we inhale and exhale, there’s waking and sleeping, the seasons change every three months, life is full of changes. It’s okay to have a dry season. It will change.

 

Second, lean on the persistence of God’s call. You’re a small group because God brought you to it. Stick with it. You don’t move when winter comes. You don’t quit your job when summer arrives. You’re here for a reason and that means you need to keep looking for what God has for you here.

 

Third, trust in the creativity God has given you. Mix it up, do things differently, rent a Christian movie, make the meetings fun. Add some spice and things may start to taste a whole bunch better.

 

Most of west Africa is influenced by the Sahara desert. During an extended dry season every year, there is no rain, the water dries up, and the air is devoid of moisture. Plants wither and people suffer and endure. But every year when the rains start again, everything living rebounds. The people celebrate that the dry season is over. Just remember, when your group hits a dry spell, it will soon be over.

How do small groups stay in touch between meetings?

Well, there are almost as many ways as there are small groups, it seems. Here are a few ideas from the Saddleback small group community:

• emails from the Host or co-Host to the members weekly to tell them about the upcoming meeting
  
• emails from the Fellowship champion to members about upcoming events (some do this weekly, some send a monthly calendar)
  
• eNewsletters to the small group members using Constant Contact, Vertical Response or similar online newsletter services (Vertical Response is $10/month, Constant Contact is $15/month. Both provide free templates and great ideas)
• Communicating through Facebook (form a Facebook group for your small group and invite everyone to it) 
• Using Twitter to tweet thoughts and reminders out to group members who are following.
• Texting each other during the week.
• Using Google Groups or Yahoo Groups. You can form a group, invite your members, send emails, share calendars and other docs, plus lots of other cool stuff.
• The Fellowship champion calls everybody once a week and touches base, reminding of upcoming meetings and events.
• Sending cards and notes. Yep, some people still do this. Remember the mail?

Of course, there are also special events like birthdays, anniversaries, baptisms, baby dedications that get the group together.

How does your group stay in touch?

Looking for something for your small group to study next week? The Easter message is a natural to use in your small group study next week. But how do you do that? Just use Talk It Over, the convenient small group study that’s written each week based on the weekend sermon. Simply click on http://saddlebackfamily.com/mediacenter/services/Default.aspx and click on Talk It Over. It’s ready every weekend by Sunday afternoon so you can simply print it out and use it for your group.

 

Have you tried Talk It Over in your group already? Click on "Comments" below and tell us how your group liked it.

Many small groups will be finishing the Refuel study this week as we all prepare for Easter. But, what are you planning with your small group for Easter or the week after?

Let the joy and celebration of the resurrection of Christ continue through the week after Easter. Here are some ideas:

 

Passover Seder – some small groups have shared a Seder meal to experience the ritual of Passover and recognize its significance to Easter.

Easter brunch – why is it that small groups seem to revolve around food? Many small groups will celebrate Easter together, as a small group family, with a brunch.

Celebration meeting – some groups will take the first meeting after Easter as a celebration, with a potluck dinner and a short meeting ending with communion. This is a great time to share how the Refuel study has impacted your life.

Kids – many groups plan children’s activities for the first meeting after Easter, helping the children to share in the conversations and feelings about this important day.

Baptisms – some groups plan to come together for the baptisms of some of their members. There are baptisms after 13 Easter services this year. What a great time to be baptized, and for the small group to celebrate.

Now that we're in the second week of Refuel, how are you doing?

Here are some of the ways small groups are encouraging each of their members:

• Creating a covenant with others in the group to stop, start and look
• Sending short text messages to each other as a reminder
• Twittering encouragement, verses and prayers
• Leaving voice messages for each other
• Sending one sentence emails to members of the group with where God has met me today
• Resending Doug's Refuel texts to other members of the group who can't or don't do texting
• Praying for each member of the group

What's your group doing?

Coming March 21...

In this three-week teaching series, based on his new book, REFUEL, Pastor Doug Fields offers an uncomplicated, realistic and sustainable plan to consistently draw closer to God. All you have to do is: Stop, Be Quiet, Make a Connection.

In addition, Pastor Doug has taped three engaging and encouraging video messages to watch and discuss with your small group during the week. *When the series begins, you’ll receive links to each short video and some group discussion questions via email!

More information coming soon!

Talk it Over Sermon Discussion Guides for small groups can help! They’ve been motivating Saddleback Church small group discussions for more than five years. Every week, our Talk It Over team creates a new sermon discussion guide, based on the weekend sermon. Each Guide is full of discussion questions about that sermon’s Bible verses, and challenging thoughts about how to apply the message in your own life — lots of great questions you can choose from to make a curriculum that is appropriate for your group. A new sermon discussion guide is posted to the Talk it Over website every Saturday night.



Some small groups use these Discussion Guides during all their meetings. Others use them during any especially popular preaching series or when they need discussion material for several weeks between other studies. They're even great for independent, personal study. Try a Talk It Over Small Group Discussion Guide in your small group this week! They’re free! You can download them right here on our website, or pick up a printed copy out on the patio at the Pavilion, right next to the CDs of the weekly sermons.

…your small group has a website

When your small group was started we created a website just for your group and every time someone new joins your group or group information changes, your group’s site is automatically updated.

Here are some of the great things you can find on your website – photos of your group members along with their phone numbers and emails, birthdays, an email utility that lets you email everyone in your group at once, a Group Details section where you can update the information in your group, even a place to share photos of group activities with everyone in your group. Plus, there are all kinds of resources for your group including frequently asked questions, important dates for training, and a terrific online tool called the Spiritual Health Assessment that helps you see how you can grow in living a purpose driven life. In fact, the Health Assessment is modeled right from Pastor Rick’s book, The Purpose Driven Life.

Members of your small group are the only people who can visit your small group website so you don’t need to worry about privacy. To add people to your group, you need to “invite” them and once they agree to your “invitation” they will also be able to visit the group website. Just remember, if you haven't added someone to your group yet, they will not be able to visit your group's website.

Some groups use their small group website all the time to send emails to everyone in the group about events, to keep track of birthdays, to post photos from various group events and of course to consider next steps in being a purpose driven small group.

Take a few minutes and wander around your small group website. Especially, try out the buttons at the top of the page (shown above) like “email group,” or “excel” or “group details” so you can see all the great features of your website.

For a detailed look at what the site offers you can download a pdf document by clicking here.

Using a health assessment for spiritual growth
by Todd Olthoff, Couples Pastor Saddleback Church

How would you define spiritual health? If someone asked you what it means to be growing in the Lord, what would that look like?  

I like the analogy of a mountain when talking about growth. For many of us, we look at the mountain but we can't see the top, so we get discouraged. Sometimes we have to look backwards to see how high we really are compared to where we were. That gives us the strength to continue up the mountain instead of walking back down.

Far too often in the church, we don't think about how to develop people. We may have a great menu of things at our church, but people don't know how they fit together or what the next step is on their growth pathway. They just sign up for what happened to fit a schedule or sounded good.
At Saddleback, we have a plan to develop people around five biblical purposes:
•    Worship
•    Fellowship
•    Discipleship
•    Ministry
•    Evangelism

For us health is balancing those five things. When we talk about balance, it means more of a lifestyle – so as you look at your life over a six-month span, those purposes are present and operating in your life. That's what we are after.
 
So, how do we start moving in this direction? A spiritual health assessment helps point to an intentional pathway to plug people into the resources of your church. It's not a magic bullet, but it can be a useful tool in guiding people on the path to spiritual growth.

You can take the online health assessment online here.

Looking for Ice Break Questions for your group?  Here are just a few to get you started. Please comment with others that you have used that have worked well.

1. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
2. If you were a cartoon, which one would you prefer being?
3. What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
4. Would you rather questions (There is even a game you can borrow from)
5. Random Fact - Have everyone share a random fact about themself
6. What was the best concert you went to (who and when)?
7. If you had your own talk show, who would your first three guests be?
8. What do you miss most about being a kid?
9. What is your favorite tradition? (family tradition, church tradition, whatever)
10. Where did you grow up?
11. If you could meet anyone from the Bible who would it be and what would you ask them? (Besides Jesus)

I know there are a TON more, so comment and let us know what has worked best in your group.

Throw a Surprise Birthday Party!

Randomly select someone in your group and throw them a surprise birthday party (even if their birthday isn't for another four months). Involve everyone in your group and have each person bring an inexpensive fun gift or card with words of encouragement for the "birthday" boy or girl.

(Reference from 250 Big Ideas page 126.)